No Woman Made Me Queer
I’m a lesbian, and I’m also queer. These aren’t the same thing.
I run into a lot of people who are attracted to other women (and sometimes non-men), and that’s where it ends. There’s no flavor, or depth in the way they move through the world. They just like women.
To me, queerness transcends far beyond our attraction and desire. Queerness is about how we see the world. How we show up in the world, even when it tells us to shrink. Its the lens we see ourselves, and the world in.
Queerness is culture, community, resistance, and survival.
Can I tell you about times I felt queer? They have nothing to do with romance, by the way.
When I learned how to love myself, as a plus sized, black lesbian, without the need for someone to validate it.
When I sat on the grass, in a park, and looked across at my friends, thinking “I built this. This is my life. These are my people.” That felt so fucking queer & holy.
When I refused to shrink myself so others could feel bigger.
When I learned I didn’t fit in the binary. From my gender identity, to the way I present myself, it didn’t fit in any of the boxes.
When I started using my social media platforms to talk about Palestine and the other atrocities in the world, despite the nasty messages, and despite the unfollows because people felt “uncomfortable”.
When I showed up at the Texas capitol to advocate for a bill, knowing my presence alone was resistance.
When I wore an outfit to look powerful, instead of cute.
When I recognized my bodies need for rest, and honored it without guilt or shame.
I could go on and on, because my queerness doesn’t begin or end with who I am attracted to. It’s who I am, how I live, how I resist, how I love, and how I come back to myself. It’s not something I perform; it’s who I am, and who I’ve become.
What moments in life make you feel queer?
Making a friends with a giant group of other black queers at the gay bar and keeping in touch after🙂↕️and kissing my (ex) gf at the Cowboy Carter album party
I’m glad you’re living in your truth.