My emotional support elephant had enough.

He couldn't carry all my baggage

One night, while in the midst of an intense spiral following a breakup, I had a funny dream in which an elephant decided to abandon me.

Let me set the dream scene for you.

I found myself moving into a house that felt so achingly familiar, even though I’d never been there before. I stood in my living room, gazing out the window and into my backyard, that looked like a miniature African Savanna. Have you seen those videos on TikTok where you’re standing on a raised platform, and giraffes walk over so you can feed them? That’s the vibe this house was giving.

As I stared out the window, I saw a large truck carrying an elephant, drive into my backyard. I rushed to the balcony, utterly confused, where two men approached me wearing the kind of look that screamed, I don’t get paid enough for this. They explained that my therapist had ordered an emotional support animal for me. This company that delivered the elephant, had been researching how elephants positively affect mental health, and since it was part of a study, it wouldn’t cost me a thing. I agreed and signed the needed forms - because truthfully I was a mess.

Photo by Connor Gan on Unsplash

This elephant could communicate with me by typing on a keyboard with its tail, and the messages showed up on a special device the company gave me. All I could talk about was the breakup - or technically, being ghosted. My emotions were all over the place back then, and I was still trying to make sense of it all.

After days spent pouring my heart out to the elephant, repeating the same stories until they lost all meaning, he gently suggested I get out of the house and breathe some fresh air. I thought that was a great idea and decided to head to the grocery store and pick up some food to make a nourishing meal, after a week of living on fast food.

I came home from the store, put the groceries away, and then heard the rumbling sound of a truck outside. I rushed to the balcony to find my emotional support elephant in the back of the truck, eyes hidden behind his ears, peeking out at me with sheer terror.

My device dinged, and I looked down at the elephant’s message: “You broke me. You need more than professional help.” Frozen in shock, I watched the truck roll away with the terrified elephant. Then everything faded, and I woke up.

Though I woke up laughing at the absurdity of the dream, the message felt like a punch to the gut. It mirrored the heartbreak of sharing my deepest emotions with someone, and then being abandoned without explanation. But also, it uncovered a truth for me that shifted the ways in which I approach my relationships. I had spent so long expecting people to save me, never noticing how worn out they became from having to constantly pull me back up.

While I see so much beauty and strength in expressing my feelings and talking about my pain, I realized my healing had to begin with me. I had to stop seeing myself as someone who needed saving and stop depending on others to rescue me. I’m the only one who can truly heal myself, while others can offer care and kindness along the way.

Every time I see an elephant now, I can’t help but giggle and think about my dream. But it also reminds me of how much I’ve grown, and how much healthier my relationships became when I stopped depending on others to save me.

Dreams can reveal so much about ourselves. What have yours taught you? Drop a comment below, and subscribe to keep up with my journey.